A single world: Part 2

Where do you find love? Do you think everyone could find love? What about finding love online?

 

We have all heard of online dating sites and many of us have probably tried them.

 

They all have their own way to attract singles. Match.com states that ‘It’s okay to look.’ Eharmony.com lets you watch a success story on video before you even register. Chemistry.com promises to help their users “find diverse, passionate people who make you go weak in the knees.”

 

It’s simple. You sign up; make a profile, post a picture and try to find other singles that share the same interests… all of this while sitting on your couch in your own living room. There is no buying a new dress or a new shade of lipstick to wear out that night. There is no getting a fresh haircut and asking a few of your buddies to tag along. All you need is a computer and you’re set. 

 

But is finding love online the right way to find love? Does it matter where love is found?

 

There are online love stories that make online dating sound wonderful. There are also awful ones. “Anyone could make themselves look great on paper or a computer screen, but who knows if they are telling the truth or not?” said my sister who has tried many dating sites before.

 

 

 

 

But then I thought about it, if someone is a liar, they are going to lie in person or on a computer screen. So do online dating sites give singles a better chance to match up? Or is it all just a gamble?

 

I believe that online dating is just another form of dating and finding love. I don’t disagree with it but I do believe that a person should not base their whole dating and love life around a dating website.

 

If you want to find love you need to be open, honest and confident. Whether you are making a profile for an online dating site or wearing your brand new cocktail dress to the lounge, be open to everyone, be kind and non-judgmental. When love is meant to happen to you… it will.

 

 

Here are some online dating sites that aren’t as popular. Check them out!

 

Datehookup.com

Mingle2.com

Okcupid.com

Perfectmatch.com

Lavalife.com

True.com

Singlesnet.com

 

And for some tips on online dating visit http://www.onlinedatingtips.org/.

A single world: Part 1

 

 

So, I’m back. I know I disappeared for a bit but now I promise since I skipped a few months, many opinions have risen to the surface.  

 

What has been on my mind recently is being single. Well, not me being single, but singles in general. Society swallows singles up and leads them to a never ending circle of tips; tips on how to date, tips on finding the one and only, tips on being open towards love.

 

I sit here with my group of single girlfriends and I try to give them peace of mind.  It is 2008 and what seemed to be their year of love is almost over.

 

 

“There is only five months left till 2009, I’ll be 23 in 2009!”

 

“I want to at least be with a man for 5 years before I marry him, if I don’t find him now, I won’t be married till after I’m 30!”

 

In hysterics one of my girlfriends asks, “All I want to know is what the hell happened to a night of sushi and a romantic comedy?” (A pretty good question, since most of them get that completely funny and attractive guy’s number at the bar, then gets a call the next day asking them to go back to ‘his place’.) “They just skip the whole getting to know each other part!”

 

And the saddest part is the fact that when a decent guy actually asks them to go out on a date, they automatically deem something wrong with him. Or my favorite, we immediately call him a keeper and then a week later find out he is still sleeping with his ex.

 

This gets me to my point. Is it really about finding your one and only? Or is it about waiting till that one and only finds you?

 

 

Some continue to try. They read the tips online, watch the talk shows about relationships, continue to keep their hopes up, hoping that the night at the bar, that stroll in the park, or that trip to the grocery store will bring upon that person of their dreams. Hoping that today is the day they will fall in love.

 

“Just keep your heart open” is all they hear, but is it getting them anywhere?

Abortion

Back to serious talk.

I never realized how uneducated I was about abortion in the United States. I have never had an abortion , or know anyone who has, so I never gave it a serious thought. After having to read a psychology study about health affects in women after an abortion. I was shocked just how uneducated I was and how prominent abortion is in the United States.

First, I want to give you some raw facts. According to The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform, there are about 3,700 abortions per day in the US and 52 percent of them are under the age of 25. Also, from the year 1973 to now, there have been more than 48 million deaths due to abortion. That number is greater than all the deaths combined from the the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World Wars I and II, the Korean, Vietnam and Gulf Wars. 

There is so much I can talk about pertaining to abortion but there is only one thing I really want to talk about today.

First let me give you some of my thoughts, so you know where I am coming from. Right now, at the age I am at and the stage of my life I am at, I am sort of Pro-Choice. I believe in Pro-choice because of rape, incest and things to that nature. I do not believe in Pro-choice as a form of birth control, to fix a mistake or because the child is unwanted.

These forms of Pro-Choice make me sick to my stomach and according to The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform 93 percent of abortions are due to this type of Pro-choice, while only 1 percent is due to incest/rape, and the other 6 percent due to mental health issues.

As you can see, the number of abortions would drastically lessen if girls/teenagers/women in the world today were more educated about issues such as SEX, BIRTH CONTROL and ABORTION.

There are many factors that play into an unwanted child, but wouldn’t one think that when a women knows she is unprepared to have a child or doesn’t want a child that she would be more careful with her life choices?

One would hope so, but according to that huge 93 percent, most women obviously use abortion as a form of birth control.

Who should we blame for this? Should we blame abortion becoming legal?  Should we blame Pro-Choice? Should we blame society? What about the media? What about parents? School sex education? The amount of low income families in the world?

We could probably blame all of those factors and many more, but is there a point? Until we find a solution, millions of deaths per year will be because of abortion. And millions of women who are trying to have a child and can’t, will constantly be reminded that other women are having abortions because ‘it was just a mistake.’

Please let me know your thoughts on this. If I keep going, this blog will turn out to be thousands of words long…..

 

 

Just for some laughs…

I always talk about such serious things, so I thought that maybe I will write a blog that will just make everyone laugh out loud!

I found this article on-line by a man named Steve Shadrach. He gave a list of 15 differences between guys and girls. I read it and I couldn’t stop laughing. Here is his 15! ENJOY!!!!

1. Even though a guy has 50% more brute strength than a girl, she is able to withstand higher temperatures than he can. 
2. A girl has a larger stomach, kidneys, liver, and appendix than a guy, but she has smaller lungs, thus giving her less breathing capacity than a guy. 
3. The right hemisphere of guys’ brains are better developed, therefore they are more visual, mathematic, exploring, more sex oriented, and commit most violent crime. Girls, though, have the left hemisphere more developed and are therefore more verbal, communicative, sensitive, and more prone to phobias and depression. 
4. Guys use restrooms solely for biological reasons — to drain their bladder. Girls, on the other hand, use restrooms as social lounges. Guys will never speak a word or make eye contact with others they don’t know there. But girls who’ve never even met will, by the time they’re finished, leave laughing out loud together like old friends. 
5. When the restaurant check comes, each of the guys will throw big bills out on the table to supposedly pay for the tab. When the check comes for the girls, each will get out her calculator to verify the total and figure her down-to-the-penny part. 
6. All week, a girl will thoughtfully make an extensive list of things to purchase at the store and when she arrives, she walks directly from item to item, comparing prices and coupons. When the frigde is empty and starting to grow things, a guy will just show up at the closest store and start cruising up and down every aisle, throwing in his basket anything that looks appealing. Even though his cart is jam-packed, he will try to butt in the 10 items-or-less checkout line. 
7. A guy has five items in his bathroom — a razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, a toothbrush, and towel from Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical girl’s bathroom is reported to be as high as 437, the majority of which a guy couldn’t even tell what they are or used for. 
8. When a girl says she will be ready in five minutes, she’s using the same meaning of time as when a guy says the football game has just five minutes left to play. Neither the guy nor the girl is counting time-outs, commercials, or replays! 
9. A girl believes that visitors will be impressed by a clean house. A guy believes the visitors will be impressed by his large stereo. 
10. Guys don’t decorate their handwriting, they just chicken-scratch. Girls will pull out their scented, color coordinated stationary and use ridiculously large circles, hearts, and loops to finish off their “i’s”, “p’s”, and “g’s.” It is a real hassle to read a letter from a girl. Even when she is dumping a guy, she’ll finish it off with a smiley face at the end! 
11. If a girl is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Guys, of course, consider this to be a sign of weakness. A guy will never stop and ask for directions. They will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, “Looks like I’ve found a new way to get there,” and, “I know I’m in the neighborhood. I recognize that Ace hardware store.” 
12. With the exception of female bodybuilders who call each other names like “Ultimate Pecs” and “Big Turk,” women disdain the use of nicknames. If Amber, Suzanne, Katherine, and Natalie get together for lunch, they will call each other Amber, Suzanne, Katherine, and Natalie. But if Mike, Dave, Rob, and Aron go out on the town, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut-Brain, and Yard-Dart. 
13. A girl worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a guy never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 
14. A girl marries a guy expecting him to change, but he usually doesn’t. A guy marries a girl thinking she will always be the same — and, of course, she isn’t. 
15. Girls love cats. Guys say they love cats, but when girls aren’t looking, they kick cats.

You had a few laughs right? hahahahhaha

For the complete article go to… http://www.boundless.org/regulars/list_guy/a0000829.html

Who’s your role model?

I have always looked up to my mother. She is a strong, independent woman who is an amazing wife and mother of three. Ever since I started to realize that life comes at you in weird ways, I started to use my mother as a guide. When I look at myself and my two little sisters, I realize how well she raised us and realize that I want to be a wonderful mother to my children, just like she has been to us. 

I realized lately that not every girl/woman has a mother to look up to, or even a womanly figure. I feel for these young women and what I am questioning today is who society gives these females to look up to when they are searching for that role model for their lives.

A few years ago there was Britney Spears, with her drinking, crazy ways and bad motherly skills.  Now there is her 16-year-old pregnant sister Jamie Lynn. Are these good role models for young women? Britney was a pop star, but who is Jamie Lynn? Why is Jamie Lynn famous? O.K., she is a so-called actress, but why don’t we have more celebs or young celebs that are doing good deeds and being good role models?

Maybe our society needs to realize that young women need female role models, and instead of trying to teach girls to not look up to stars, maybe we should chose the stars that we show on T.V. or write about in magazines, more wisely.

Should she really be called Plus Size?

One of my favorite reality television shows is America’s Next Top Model. Every Wednesday night, I sit on the couch from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. to watch rail thin women compete to become America’s next Top Model. Every season there is a so-called “plus size” model. Each season, I notice two things. 1) They usually aren’t really plus size (most of them are a size 8 or 10… which I see as pretty normal today) and 2. they usually get kicked off very early in the season (I really don’t think any “plus size” model has made it long enough to go abroad with the top 6.)

This season, Whitney is the so-called “plus size” model. She is absolutely gorgeous, with long blonde hair (they changed it blonde in the make-over episode!) and amazing photos, and tonight, she just made it to the top six and is going abroad!

I am happy. Maybe the modeling world is changing, well, at least, maybe… just maybe, it’s on its way to changing. And maybe if the models that are put in the magazines start to look like normal women in our society, views on size 8 and above women will start to change. Which, by the way, will be a great and positive step for America! Hey, even maybe size 6 and above!!!

Different showers?

Did you ever think that there would be a video about the difference between how a man showers and how a woman showers? Well, if you are as addicted to YouTube as I am, you have already realized that there are video’s on just about everything. I came across this video just now and I had to share it with you.

While viewing the video, I couldn’t help but laugh. Did you laugh? I laughed because sometimes the truth is just extremely funny, especially when something is comparing men and women.

It cracks me up that the woman was so particular in her shower process. I can’t say that my process is exactly the same as hers, but I go through the same routine every time I shower, just like she did.

The best part about this video was the guy’s part. Somehow men just have that ‘ehhh whatever’ gene, that women don’t have. The funniest part to me was the fact that he reveals his privates to his wife before entering the shower, pees in the shower and then only dries his forearms and butt.

It made me laugh out loud and was something that was light, simple and could possibly help us in our quest to find out just how different we really are from our men!

 

Abused women

I know my last few posts have been about my own relationship… (Chris was here for 12 days, and I need a better word for “AMAZING”)  so I am going to take a break from that.

What has been on my mind lately is what is considered an “abusive relationship.” Because I have never been in an abusive relationship and my current relationship is one of complete love, I have never even thought about it.

About a month ago, one of my very good friends told me that her ex-boyfriend used to beat her. I didn’t know how to react. I wasn’t sure if she was telling me because she needed my help or she just needed to talk to someone about it.

After hearing her horrible stories, I then recently had to read an article about domestic violence for my Psychology class. In this article it stated that 700,000 women a year are abused by their significant other or husband. That is one woman being abused every 45 seconds. This absolutely alarmed me. I knew about battered women and domestic violence but after reading that it is, “the number one health problem for women in the United States causing more injuries to women than automobile accidents, muggings and rapes combined,” I was completely appalled.

What shocked me the most while reading up on this topic, was how people actually believe that some women are O.K. with the abuse because they don’t leave the man. To me this is ridiculous. Why would any woman like getting abused? Some reason’s for not leaving were given in the article. They were, lack of money, lack of resources, fear of family disapproval and hope that the marriage still might work.

What boggles my mind is how any man could beat a woman. A woman that is committed to him. A woman that might have bore his children. A woman who might even stay with him because she feels he is not a bad man, just having a bad phase.

Some people even believe that these women probably did something for them to deserve it. That is was ticks me off even more. No one deserves to be abused, whether physically or emotionally.

Here are some links to help the efforts towards battered women:

Hot-lines for Battered Women

Domestic Violence Hot-lines

Help Battered Women

Center against Domestic violence

 

(I also want to add that men are abused as well. For now, I focused on women, maybe another day I will focus on men and the issues that they have to deal with. For example: most men refuse to call the cops because they get made fun of that they got beat up by their wife.)

 

Girls at a gun range

Today I went to a Shooting Range with Chris, his parents, his aunt, uncle and cousins. He has one girl cousin (and she’s three). So the only females at the shooting range were his mother, his aunt, his three-year-old cousin and ME!

I have been to the range before and I actually enjoyed myself. It was the first time ever being near a gun and the first time I ever even touched a gun. Obviously Chris is a big fan of guns (ya know, the whole Marine thing) and his uncle is a cop… so guns are a big interest in the family.

Today reiterated just how different men and women truly are, but it also made me realize a big part about relationships.

Chris was in his glory all day. Not only did he get to shoot guns for 5 hours, he got to spend the day with his father, uncle and all his cousins.

The first time ever shooting a gun was a lot of fun for me. I was interested because it was something new and different. Today was not like the first time I went.

I shot a few rounds with each gun but after 2 hours I found myself just watching. Then after 3 hours I found myself snacking and playing with the baby. After 4 hours I found myself sitting in the heated truck with his aunt talking about ‘girly things’.

After 5 hours at the shooting range, the guys were still shooting. Whether it was a pistol, rifle or shotgun, they continued to shoot round after round after round.

The last hour spent with his aunt in the truck made me realize something. Maybe I didn’t want to shoot guns after an hour and maybe I wasn’t really interested, but I realized that I was never bored.

I confessed this to his aunt and she said to me, “Why do you think we do this? Look at our men, look at them smiling. This makes them happy.”

It made me realize that this is a main part of a healthy and happy relationship.

His aunt and uncle have been together since they were in high school and they have four children. They have a wonderful marriage and I admire them, I could tell Chris does too.

His aunt was right. I enjoyed watching Chris in “his heaven.” And Chris does this with me as well. I can tell that Chris hates when I drag him to the mall to go shoe shopping, but the other day (when I was trying on shoe after shoe) Chris turned to me and said, “You look so cute.”

Young love

For the past eight months I worried about my relationship changing not only because of the distance between us, but what Chris was going through in Iraq. I wasn’t sure how he was going to act when he came back and I always wondered if we would feel and act differently towards each other. I had fears, but they were completely washed away the second I saw his face.

After the first minute of holding each other, things just seemed to fall right back into place.

Laying in bed with him that night, I looked at him and told him I loved him. He looked right back at me and said, “I love you more.”

This brings up my question…. could young love really turn into true love?

[To buy this LOVE blanket visit: http://www.affirmagy.com/Detail.bok?no=13 ]

I consider young love to be love between two teenagers. Its hard to put a direct age on it, but sometimes I believe it is hard to love someone else, when you really aren’t even sure who you are yet.

Chris Brown has a song called young love. The chorus goes like this:

 ”Since we aint 21 they be tryin say it aint love(a teenage love)
’cause we cant hit tha clubs they be tryin say we’re too young(a teenage love)
I aint sayin that we’re tryin be grown
I’m jus sayin that we’re old enough to know we got tha Young Love, Young Love, We lucky we got that Young Love”

Does it turn into true love when we hit 21? Is it ever true love? Sometimes I wonder if ‘young love,’ love with no worries, no fights and no hassle is the real true love.

Come on now! Love now-a-days is crazy. There are books, articles and websites dedicated on how to find love or how to go about loving someone. Or the best are sites that want to calculate love for you! ( <—-Try that site out.. I entered Chris and Alicia into the blanks and we got that our relationship only has an 11% chance of working out!!!!!)

I look at my relationship with Chris and I realize that no one can explain love to you. No one could tell you how you are going to feel when your boyfriend comes home from Iraq. Or how you are going to feel when your boyfriend of 6 years admits to cheating on you and wants to leave. No one can explain to you what to do when you are on the dating scene and just keep striking out.

Love is complicating, but here is my advice. Take love as love comes. Do not go out looking for it. True love just happens…. let it happen. Don’t find it, it will find you.

It found me and is still living strong!