Are all the good ones are taken?

So, have you ever heard a woman talking to her friends about how all the good men are taken? A common phrase I always hear is, “All the good ones are taken or they’re gay.” Why is that such a common phrase? Are all the good ones really taken or is it just that women are too picky? Or maybe there aren’t that many ‘good ones’ out there.

Last night I came across an article titled, “Ten guys women should run from”. Some of their titles were, Mr. Jealousy, Joe No-Show, The Two-Timer and my favorite of all…Mr. Resentment. I am going to stick to Mr.Resentment to make my point.

I am only 21 years old and I found a ‘good one’ when I was 17. We have had our ups and downs, but in general, I know that he might really be ‘The one’ or ‘Mr.Right’.  There is a lot of things I love about Chris, but one thing that I treasure the most is that he wants me to succeed. He wants me to be successful, at the same time as him becoming successful.

Mr. Resentment was described as follows: “Pay close attention to how he handles your accomplishments. If you get a promotion with a raise and he breaks it down to show you how it really only amounts to six dollars a day after taxes, that’s the first strike. When he uses any expression like “your little project”, count that as two. Just because men are having a hard time adjusting to the idea that women are capable breadwinners doesn’t mean you have to martyr yourself into helping them make the transition. There are men out there who are more than happy to bask in the glow their women cast and to consider your talents a positive reflection on them.”

All I have to say is WELL SAID!

Men have to start realizing that it is 2008! Do not be a ‘weak’ woman just because it might make your man feel bad about himself. We are smart, we are brave and we are strong… and if a guy can’t handle that, find another guy!

So it isn’t the fact that all the good ones are taken. I found a good one and don’t lose hope, they are out there! Just don’t settle for a Mr. Resentment!

The perfect body

Who’s has the most perfect body in Hollywood? Is it Jennifer Aniston? Jennifer Lopez? What about Queen Latifah? Who gets to say what the ‘perfect body’ really is?

As soon as I started dating I realized that physical attraction is a huge part of it. I also realized that everyone has their own taste. Personally, I usually like men who are much taller than me and have broad shoulders, but my sister is attracted to guys who wear glasses and play the guitar. Every woman is different. Same goes for the guys. Every guy has a different view on what they want their girlfriend to look like. Some like tall and skinny, others like short and full-figured. So why is there this craze that everyone should be skinny? Why aren’t people praised for their own body types?

I started thinking about this because February 24 to March 1 is National Eating Disorder Awareness week. As of now, 10 million women and 1 million men suffer from an eating disorder. I always knew that it was prevalent amongst college girls, but recently I found out that college guys have the same hang ups about their weight.

I never really understood how looking at models in a fashion magazine could make someone want to become bulimic or anorexic, but I think I am starting to understand. The National Eating Disorder Association website talks about the 3D’s, which are dieting, drive for thinness and body dissatisfaction. They also state that Americans spend more than $40 billion dollars a year on dieting and diet related products. So why is this world so obessed with the way we look?

I do understand how having extra pounds could be unhealthy. I do believe in healthy eating and working out, but not to impress the world and have what society thinks is the ‘perfect body’. I think people should eat healthy and work out to live a long life and be true to themselves. If losing a few pounds is going to make someone smile more, then I say go for it, but if you are only doing it to please society, start over and rethink!

Girls playing football??

 

So I am always talking about how females can do anything that males can do. Well today we had a snow day. All classes were canceled and no one had to go to work. I woke up to an instant message from my best friend asking if I wanted to come over and play snow football in her backyard. I looked at the screen in confusion and said to her, “will it only be us girls?” I felt like I didn’t want to play football unless our guy friends were coming over to play as well.

Why did I care if it was only girls?  My eight best friends and I would throw on layers of clothes and play touch football, in the snow which would have been so much fun. Why did I question it?

Females have been playing tackle football since 1939. I do believe that girls can play whatever sport they wish but football had always seemed a little different to me. Maybe I feel this way because it is the only sport where there has never been female teams. Lacrosse is a rough sport and so is hockey, but both high schools and colleges offer those sports to girls. Football is not offered anywhere.

I went to an all-girls high school and we were great in athletics. We had number one teams in basketball, softball and soccer. But one of the best times in high school for my friends and I were going to watch our boy school football teams compete. Never did any of the girls question why we didn’t have a football team or seem to care.

Should girls be able to play football? Should high schools offer girls football teams? Would there be enough girls to have football teams? Would the guys be mad if girls start to play football? Should football just be for boys?

Some girls do want to play football! So let’s give them that chance!

Horrible Drivers?

I have always thought I was a great driver.  I am not very cautious but I am not wreck-less. I might speed a little (have gotten a few tickets in my day), but I have only been in one accident (that was my fault) since I have been driving, which has been over 5 years now.

You always hear men saying that women are bad drivers, but I grew up with my father, who is the most wreck-less driver I have ever seen and my mother who is very aware and cautious.

When my boyfriend came into the picture he always drove us around. It was just never a question who was going to drive, but then his car had to go into the shop… and it was my turn to take us to dinner.

After about three minutes I saw that he was holding on for dear life. He said, “Alicia, I love you and you know that… but can I just drive your car?” I was shocked, pissed off and little hurt. I always thought I was a good driver!

Maybe women got bad reps because we can be a little, how can I say this, preoccupied. Yes, preoccupied people!!! When I got into my accident it was because I had 55 thousands things I had to do that day, people were calling me non-stop and the stupid man (yes, a man) in front of me didn’t make the left turn when he could have.

I do not think that we can stereotype women as bad drivers. A bad driver is a bad driver, who can be any gender, size, age or race. And who defines what a bad driver is anyway? My boyfriend thinks I am a bad driver because I put my lipstick on sometimes at a red light, or I reach down into my bag to get my sunglasses. Come on now!

(I added two YouTube video’s that were titled, ”Top 10 women drivers of the year” and “The worst woman driver ever”. But couldn’t men make these mishaps as well? Yes they can!)

Women in Sports

Have you heard of Kobe Bryant? Tiger Woods? What about Roger Clemens? You probably said yes to all those names, but what about Lisa Leslie or Mia Hamm or harder yet, Babe Didrikson. Most people can name many more male athletes than female ones, but why is that?

In 1972, Title IX of the Education Amendments was passed that prohibits sex discrimination in any educational program or activity at any educational institution that is a recipient of federal funds. This includes sports.

Women were never seen to be athletes. It was always said that males were the ones who should participate in sports.

The media plays on this myth since 90% of sports on TV are male sports. And what about a typical NBA player making a salary of $15,355,000 but WNBA players needing to get a job in their off season because they only make $89,000.

Why should only men be recognized for teamwork, camaraderie and competition? Why are women said to be on the sidelines cheering for the manly men getting sweaty and dirty. Why can’t we like to get sweaty and dirty? Why can’t we like a little competition? Now is a lot better than then, but myths about women and sports are definitely still around today.

After reading an article by Ruth L. Hall, a professor of Psychology at TCNJ about women and sports, I realized that the myths that surround women and sports just utterly ridiculous. Some of the myths that Hall points out are, “girls will get hurt if they participate in sports”, “sports are for boys”, “girls aren’t good at sports” and “only lesbians play sports”.

Sports is not a part of my daily lifestyle but I did play softball for 9 years and still do intramural softball as a college student. I might not follow stats or have a favorite team but I have always enjoyed a good football, baseball or basketball game. So when a few male friends of mine were talking about sports, I had something to say… so I said it. They all looked at me with blank stares and I could tell the leader of the pact was looking at me in complete disgust. “Don’t try to think you know anything about sports” he said to me.

Why do guys think that all females should be interested in make-up, shopping and Fashion magazines? Maybe I am not a sports guru, but a lot of my girlfriends are highly into sports and some even play at the college level, Division 1. Will women who enjoy playing sports ever be taken seriously? Or will they always be seen as tomboyish or a lesbian?

(By the way, spell check highlighted WNBA as not a word, but NBA was at the top of the list to chose from)

Zumba!

I have always being going to my campus gym since I was a freshman. I would wait in line for a treadmill to be open or do some sit-ups in the sit-up station, but tonight, I went to the gym for a Zumba class. About 50 girls, myself and my best friend all showed up to try out the new exercise craze, ZUMBA!

Zumba is a mixture of aerobics and Latin dancing, with the most upbeat, motivating music any workout junkie can ask for.

The class started out with a warm up and I was already getting sweaty. Then the reggaeton/latin music starting blaring and I was totally pumped. It felt more like I was dancing at a club then working out. The moves were easy to get and mostly all the girls caught on very quickly.

I got an amazing workout without constantly looking down at how many minutes I have left or how many miles I ran. It was utterly fantastic! Zumba will definitely be here to stay!

Don’t let Valentine’s Day be lonely

Girls with boyfriends are excited. It’s the most romantic day of the year. They get flowers,  chocolates and a nice meal out. Guys with girlfriends are anxious. They aren’t sure where to take their girlfriend, what to buy her, or even what to wearthat night.

 

Then we go to the single guy and girl. The single guy is happy. He doesn’t have to worry about buying a gift or pleasing anyone but himself. He treats it like any other day, playing video games or watching sports. Then we get to the single girl. For single girls, it is ‘Single’s Awareness Day’. They get to see couples holding hands and eating dinner and exchanging presents. It makes them depressed, even a little jealous. 

I get to experience both. I do have a boyfriend. Have been with him for the past four years, but this year for Valentine’s Day, he is serving a tour in Iraq. So it is not ‘Single’s Awareness Day’ for me, but it’s Valentine’s Day away from my boyfriend.

My friend’s are not letting me be sad. They refused. So on this thurseday night, six of my closest college friends and I are going to have a Valentine’s Day celebration. We have decided to do secret giver gifts and spend $12 on a very funny Valentine’s Day gift. No sappy cards, no romantic gifts… just completely funny. We plan on laughing for an hour and then putting our dance moves to the test at a local club.

My boyfriend understands and he definitely does not want me to stay at home and sulk.

So here is my advice for all the ladies out there that hate Valentine’s Day because they think it just reminds them of being single or they don’t get to spend it with that special someone… 1) Single isn’t so bad. Do something that will make you happy. Take a bubble bath, watch a funny flick, hang with your girls and 2) You don’t have to be lonely. It is just another day of the freakin year… so treat it that way and have fun!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

We can play video games too!

Have you ever watched a guy play a video game? They stare at the TV for more than a span of three hours,  look so intense you dont even want to bother them and after awhile they get so frustrated that they throw the controller across the room, but refuse to give up playing!

Men just like video games. I assume they like the ones where there are guns involved or airplane fighting missions or some kind of sport. I doubt a male would sit in front of the TV for three or more hours playing ’Skate Barbie’ (which I used to have as a child).

But why do guys think that women can’t play video games?

In a Courant.com article, Scott Jones, talks about how there is always an awkward moment when a guy wants his girlfriend or wife to try out video games.

“It typically begins with the words, ‘Honey, why don’t you give it a try?’ A brief tutorial of the-X-button-does-this sort ensues. This leads to the inevitable parade of GAME OVER screens, followed by her asking, ‘Why am I dying?’ followed by you chewing on your knuckles and trying not to scream the words ‘FOR GOD’S SAKE, USE THE HAMMER OF DAWN ON THOSE GUYS; WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WERE YOU NOT BLESSED WITH ANY HAND-EYE COORDINATION AT ALL, WOMAN?’ “

Is that normally how it goes? Why don’t guys realize that we just aren’t into killing vombies or jumping into cars with hookers, on a video game!

I used to play video games all the times as a child. I loved anything having to do with racing or Super Mario Brothers. My favorite was Tetris. Now-a-day I feel like there aren’t any video games that women can enjoy. But the recent Wii has saved us!

Many females that I know are addicted to Wii. I have tried it before and I know if I had enough time, I would be addicted too. My mother even asked for it for Christmas! It is about time that girls can re-enter into the gaming world!

More emotional than physical

Just searching around the web I found a story about a 300 pound woman on CNN.com. It caught my attention because it mentioned weight watchers (which I have been on for the last month and lost 12 pounds) but it also talked about how she believes gaining weight for women has more to do with emotions rather than anything phyiscal.

Lynn Bering said, ”Gaining weight has as much to do with emotional well-being than physical. You don’t just get to 200 pounds because you’re eating bad food. You’re eating bad food for a reason.”

 I alway hear of cases where woman eat when they are depressed and even eat when they are happy. I know that when I started dating my current boyfriend, I gained about 30 pounds in a year. I was happy and I wasn’t worrying about what I ate. It was also difficult because what do couples usually do?…. They go out to eat!

I never heard of a guy eating both when they are happy or when they are depressed. My boyfriend didn’t gain one ounce.

When I read the story about Lynn, I realized that women have more problems with weight than men because maybe we are just too damn emotional.

Every other day I hear one of my best friends say that they were so depressed last night that they scarfed down a whole pie by themselves and they feel guilty, or they fought with their boyfriend so they ate a whole gallon of rocky road icecream. Is it fair that women are so emotional that our feelings can take over our whole being?

Yes, men join weight watchers too and try all different kinds of diets, but there is a lot more hype in this world about women being skinny. But how can women stay so skinny when biologically, we are the ones who got the emotional gene?

My boyfriend said to me today… “Sweetie, you just love and men, well we just fight.”

What can I say, we are just two different species.

A female president?

 Hillary Clinton went to Wellesley College then moved on to Yale Law. She served on national boards for the Children’s Defense Fund and the Child Care Action Campaign. She was a partner in a law firm and led the American Bar Association’s Commission on Women in Profession.

When her husband became president, she traveled the world to speak against degradation and abuse of women; she led efforts to make adoption easier, to expand learning and child care and to increase funding for breast cancer studies. She launched campaign to prevent teen pregnancy and helped create the Adoption and Safe Families Act in 1997.

In 2000 she was elected to the US Senate. After September 11, 2001, she worked to secure the funds of NY needed to help rebuild. She fought for families of victims and health care for front line workers at Ground Zero. She visited troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.  

She is also a mother and is now running for President.

Hillary has an amazing resume and is very equipped to be President of the United States, but when will Hillary be looked at for all her accomplishments and not just as being Bill Clinton’s wife?

 

Are all married women associated with their husbands? A woman does takes on her husbands name and so do the children. In conversation, it is common to hear, Frank’s wife or Pete’s ex-wife. When are women going to start being associated with their job title like men are? Shouldn’t we hear, Laura the Pediatrician or Nicole the Lawyer?

Women put such emphasis on getting married but do they lose some of their own identity in today’s society?