I came across an article titled, “Sexual incompatibility troubles marriages” on CNN.com. It instantly drew me in to read it, but once down a few paragraphs I started to question it all. A husband was talking about how him and his wife are compatible in everything else besides sex. It then goes on to say how people sometimes put blinders on because America is so obsessed and focused on marriage. A sex therapist in the article states, “People choose partners who have the right resume but maybe not the entire package.”
Okay, so obviously sex is included in that ‘entire package’, but should it be a top priority? I agree that sex is very important. But would I marry a man if we didn’t have great sex? Would I be able to live my life as a faithful and satisfied wife if my husband didn’t pleasure me? This article does have a point.
The article talks about how marriages do not work because some people just want to get married, just to get married… and they don’t think about all the factors that should be ‘on point’ in their relationship. The sex therapist states, “couples wondering where the sex went should be asking if it was ever really there.”
Some of this article makes me angry because I believe that marriage is something sacred and that people should get married for the right reasons. Yes, everyone is different and everyone has different beliefs, morals and values, and everyone gets married for different reasons, but wouldn’t there be less divorces if people got married for the right reason?
If you love someone enough to marry them, you should love someone enough to work things out with them. Not everyone has a perfect marriage. Marriage is probably one of the toughest things men and women go through in life, but why get married if you aren’t sure about it? Or if you aren’t pleased with everything your partner has to offer? It is definitely a good question to ask before you take that leap into marriage-hood.
Alicia –
I LOVE your blog… especially this post. You truly are an amazing writer – and I think you’re getting the hang of the use of pictures {I really liked your choice of them in this post – I like the picture at top with them facing each other and then the one at the end where they are facing apart… nice touch!;-)}.
This post immediately reminded me of an article I read in Elle magazine last month. Unfortunately, since it was last month’s issue I can’t find it anywhere online
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But it was a very well-written feature story on sex in relationships, especially marriage. It talked about how there is always one partner who has less of a drive than the other, and that’s where the problem usually begins. The partner with more of a drive feels tired of “asking” for it, while the partner with less of a drive feels “bothered” by the constant nagging and becomes turned off. The writer talks about how important sex therapists are, and that, in most cases, the less-driven partner should try to listen deeply to their partner and try to satisfy him/her. This seemed a little strange to me when I first read it – because I immediately thought “why should the partner with less of a drive force themselves to have sex?” It seemed a little twisted. But then I saw the writer’s point of view – and I see the same thing in your post – it’s all about taking that EXTRA step, that extra effort to make the relationship work. All too often people give up on marriages too soon. And in almost every case, sex is one of the main issues at hand. I agree that marriage should be sacred and I believe that both partners need to put in every effort possible before throwing in the towel.
Comment by mlmjournalist — March 4, 2008 @ 6:31 pm |
What a great article Lee! Have you thought about becoming an advice columnist after graduation? I think you could really help a lot of readers =)
Comment by Laura — March 5, 2008 @ 3:41 pm |
I completely agree – which is also part of the reason I believe that people should be dating/engaged for a fairly lengthy period of time, preferably a few years, before getting married. Most relationships start with a bang and are strong in the beginning, but not all can mantain that momentum. I think that people should be together long enough to find out if the romance is still alive before they take such a huge step as marriage.
Comment by Kaitlyn Y — March 5, 2008 @ 9:29 pm |
Great topics, great writing makes for a great blog. You, have a great blog. I agree with Laura, you have a future in advice blogging.
Comment by Rick Hancock — March 6, 2008 @ 1:36 pm |