I think back to my freshman year in college and I wonder how did I make friends? I tried to talk to people in class, I tried to get along with girls on my floor, and I even tried talking to the girl running on the treadmill next to me at the gym. None of that worked. My first friend in college was introduced to me by a girl that I don’t get along with now. I walked into her room, she offered me a friendly hand, we had tons in common… and the rest is history.

Just like relationships, a good friendship is hard to come by.  It’s not easy approaching another woman and asking if she is looking for a friend. And it’s sad to say, but many girls are judgmental and catty.

At 23, I know I am blessed to have as many girlfriends as I have now. Some of them are party friends, some lend a shoulder to cry on… and a handful of them are what I call, best friends.

A best friend is that female you could laugh with, cry with, and sit there in silence with. They are the friends that could drink 3 margaritas with you, help you get ready for your next hot date with your co-worker, wish you luck when you finally got a job interview, tell you that your ex is definitely not worth it, and tell you off when you totally deserve it.

I have had many fights with my handful of best friends, but I always keep in mind…. We fight because we care. We fight because we love each other and want the best for each other. We fight because we are very much alike (which would make my friends confident, stubborn and loyal).

A girlfriend is the best thing to have in life. A best friend exceeds that. I am dedicating this post to all my girlfriends. Thank you for being there for me through thick and thin. Thanks for the laughs, the quiet nights, and especially the fights…. because they made us who we are today… Best Friends.

I started in October 2009 and worked as a research assistant with my main job as a fact checker. I also wrote many feature articles and profiles, attended events and made very close relationships with my co-workers. My writing got more clear and concise, my editing improved and my fact checking skills are now to a T. Then my one year contract came to a close and I started at the beginning, updating my resume, rewriting my cover letter, searching online for job openings.

Now, it’s almost April and the past five months have been frustrating and confusing. Applying for jobs is a full-time job in itself (with no pay). I’ve had varying thoughts. Should I go back to school? Should I follow another passion? Should I go back to waitressing for a while? I even thought about never applying to another job again and living on the beach.  But then it hits me that I need to move forward. I need to continue my journey to my lifetime goal. I need to find a job. A good one.

But why is this so hard? I had everyone edit my resume and cover letter… from editors, writers, friends in the journalism world, EVERYONE! They say I have a lot of experience for my age, they say my cover letter is perfect. So what’s going wrong? Is it the economy? Am I not applying for the right jobs? Should I go another route?

For now I have to stay positive. For now I have to make my cash from freelancing and working nights as a hostess. For now I have to keep pushing and one day, I will get that dream job.  

Here are some links I have been using (for you guys who just might be in the same position I am) =)

mediabistro.com

journalismjobs.com

Ed2010.com

Jobster.com

Monster.com

Idealist.org

Twitterjobsearch.com

Yahoo HotJobs!

We have all heard of online dating sites and many of us have probably tried them.

They all have their own way to attract singles. Match.com states that ‘It’s okay to look.’ Eharmony.com lets you watch a success story on video before you even register. Chemistry.com promises to help their users “find diverse, passionate people who make you go weak in the knees.”

It’s simple. You sign up; make a profile, post a picture and try to find other singles that share the same interests… all of this while sitting on your couch in your own living room. There is no buying a new dress or a new shade of lipstick to wear out that night. There is no getting a fresh haircut and asking a few of your buddies to tag along. All you need is a computer and you’re set. 

But is finding love online the right way to find love? Does it matter where love is found?

There are online love stories that make online dating sound wonderful. There are also awful ones. “Anyone could make themselves look great on paper or a computer screen, but who knows if they are telling the truth or not?” said my sister who has tried many dating sites before.

But then I thought about it, if someone is a liar, they are going to lie in person or on a computer screen. So do online dating sites give singles a better chance to match up? Or is it all just a gamble?

I believe that online dating is just another form of dating and finding love. I don’t disagree with it but I do believe that a person should not base their whole dating and love life around a dating website.

If you want to find love you need to be open, honest and confident. Whether you are making a profile for an online dating site or wearing your brand new cocktail dress to the lounge, be open to everyone, be kind and non-judgmental. When love is meant to happen to you… it will.

Here are some online dating sites that aren’t as popular. Check them out!

Datehookup.com

Mingle2.com

Okcupid.com

Perfectmatch.com

Lavalife.com

True.com

Singlesnet.com

And for some tips on online dating visit http://www.onlinedatingtips.org/.

So, I’m back. I know I disappeared for a bit but now I promise since I skipped a few months, many opinions have risen to the surface.  

What has been on my mind recently is being single. Well, not me being single, but singles in general. Society swallows singles up and leads them to a never ending circle of tips; tips on how to date, tips on finding the one and only, tips on being open towards love.

I sit here with my group of single girlfriends and I try to give them peace of mind.  It is 2008 and what seemed to be their year of love is almost over.

“There is only five months left till 2009, I’ll be 23 in 2009!”

“I want to at least be with a man for 5 years before I marry him, if I don’t find him now, I won’t be married till after I’m 30!”

In hysterics one of my girlfriends asks, “All I want to know is what the hell happened to a night of sushi and a romantic comedy?” (A pretty good question, since most of them get that completely funny and attractive guy’s number at the bar, then gets a call the next day asking them to go back to ‘his place’.) “They just skip the whole getting to know each other part!”

And the saddest part is the fact that when a decent guy actually asks them to go out on a date, they automatically deem something wrong with him. Or my favorite, we immediately call him a keeper and then a week later find out he is still sleeping with his ex.

This gets me to my point. Is it really about finding your one and only? Or is it about waiting till that one and only finds you?

Some continue to try. They read the tips online, watch the talk shows about relationships, continue to keep their hopes up, hoping that the night at the bar, that stroll in the park, or that trip to the grocery store will bring upon that person of their dreams. Hoping that today is the day they will fall in love.

“Just keep your heart open” is all they hear, but is it getting them anywhere?

I never realized how uneducated I was about abortion in the United States. I have never had an abortion , or know anyone who has, so I never gave it a serious thought. After having to read a psychology study about health affects in women after an abortion. I was shocked just how uneducated I was and how prominent abortion is in the United States.

First, I want to give you some raw facts. According to The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform, there are about 3,700 abortions per day in the US and 52 percent of them are under the age of 25. Also, from the year 1973 to now, there have been more than 48 million deaths due to abortion. That number is greater than all the deaths combined from the the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World Wars I and II, the Korean, Vietnam and Gulf Wars. 

There is so much I can talk about pertaining to abortion but there is only one thing I really want to talk about today.

First let me give you some of my thoughts, so you know where I am coming from. Right now, at the age I am at and the stage of my life I am at, I am sort of Pro-Choice. I believe in Pro-choice because of rape, incest and things to that nature. I do not believe in Pro-choice as a form of birth control, to fix a mistake or because the child is unwanted.

These forms of Pro-Choice make me sick to my stomach and according to The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform 93 percent of abortions are due to this type of Pro-choice, while only 1 percent is due to incest/rape, and the other 6 percent due to mental health issues.

As you can see, the number of abortions would drastically lessen if girls/teenagers/women in the world today were more educated about issues such as SEX, BIRTH CONTROL and ABORTION.

There are many factors that play into an unwanted child, but wouldn’t one think that when a women knows she is unprepared to have a child or doesn’t want a child that she would be more careful with her life choices?

One would hope so, but according to that huge 93 percent, most women obviously use abortion as a form of birth control.

Who should we blame for this? Should we blame abortion becoming legal?  Should we blame Pro-Choice? Should we blame society? What about the media? What about parents? School sex education? The amount of low income families in the world?

We could probably blame all of those factors and many more, but is there a point? Until we find a solution, millions of deaths per year will be because of abortion. And millions of women who are trying to have a child and can’t, will constantly be reminded that other women are having abortions because ‘it was just a mistake.’

Please let me know your thoughts on this. If I keep going, this blog will turn out to be thousands of words long…..

I found this article on-line by a man named Steve Shadrach. He gave a list of 15 differences between guys and girls. I read it and I couldn’t stop laughing. Here is his 15! ENJOY!!!!

1. Even though a guy has 50% more brute strength than a girl, she is able to withstand higher temperatures than he can. 
2. A girl has a larger stomach, kidneys, liver, and appendix than a guy, but she has smaller lungs, thus giving her less breathing capacity than a guy. 
3. The right hemisphere of guys’ brains are better developed, therefore they are more visual, mathematic, exploring, more sex oriented, and commit most violent crime. Girls, though, have the left hemisphere more developed and are therefore more verbal, communicative, sensitive, and more prone to phobias and depression. 
4. Guys use restrooms solely for biological reasons — to drain their bladder. Girls, on the other hand, use restrooms as social lounges. Guys will never speak a word or make eye contact with others they don’t know there. But girls who’ve never even met will, by the time they’re finished, leave laughing out loud together like old friends. 
5. When the restaurant check comes, each of the guys will throw big bills out on the table to supposedly pay for the tab. When the check comes for the girls, each will get out her calculator to verify the total and figure her down-to-the-penny part. 
6. All week, a girl will thoughtfully make an extensive list of things to purchase at the store and when she arrives, she walks directly from item to item, comparing prices and coupons. When the frigde is empty and starting to grow things, a guy will just show up at the closest store and start cruising up and down every aisle, throwing in his basket anything that looks appealing. Even though his cart is jam-packed, he will try to butt in the 10 items-or-less checkout line. 
7. A guy has five items in his bathroom — a razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, a toothbrush, and towel from Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical girl’s bathroom is reported to be as high as 437, the majority of which a guy couldn’t even tell what they are or used for. 
8. When a girl says she will be ready in five minutes, she’s using the same meaning of time as when a guy says the football game has just five minutes left to play. Neither the guy nor the girl is counting time-outs, commercials, or replays! 
9. A girl believes that visitors will be impressed by a clean house. A guy believes the visitors will be impressed by his large stereo. 
10. Guys don’t decorate their handwriting, they just chicken-scratch. Girls will pull out their scented, color coordinated stationary and use ridiculously large circles, hearts, and loops to finish off their “i’s”, “p’s”, and “g’s.” It is a real hassle to read a letter from a girl. Even when she is dumping a guy, she’ll finish it off with a smiley face at the end! 
11. If a girl is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Guys, of course, consider this to be a sign of weakness. A guy will never stop and ask for directions. They will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, “Looks like I’ve found a new way to get there,” and, “I know I’m in the neighborhood. I recognize that Ace hardware store.” 
12. With the exception of female bodybuilders who call each other names like “Ultimate Pecs” and “Big Turk,” women disdain the use of nicknames. If Amber, Suzanne, Katherine, and Natalie get together for lunch, they will call each other Amber, Suzanne, Katherine, and Natalie. But if Mike, Dave, Rob, and Aron go out on the town, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut-Brain, and Yard-Dart. 
13. A girl worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a guy never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 
14. A girl marries a guy expecting him to change, but he usually doesn’t. A guy marries a girl thinking she will always be the same — and, of course, she isn’t. 
15. Girls love cats. Guys say they love cats, but when girls aren’t looking, they kick cats.

You had a few laughs right? hahahahhaha

For the complete article go to… http://www.boundless.org/regulars/list_guy/a0000829.html

I realized lately that not every girl/woman has a mother to look up to, or even a womanly figure. I feel for these young women and what I am questioning today is who society gives these females to look up to when they are searching for that role model for their lives.

A few years ago there was Britney Spears, with her drinking, crazy ways and bad motherly skills.  Now there is her 16-year-old pregnant sister Jamie Lynn. Are these good role models for young women? Britney was a pop star, but who is Jamie Lynn? Why is Jamie Lynn famous? O.K., she is a so-called actress, but why don’t we have more celebs or young celebs that are doing good deeds and being good role models?

Maybe our society needs to realize that young women need female role models, and instead of trying to teach girls to not look up to stars, maybe we should chose the stars that we show on T.V. or write about in magazines, more wisely.

One of my favorite reality television shows is America’s Next Top Model. Every Wednesday night, I sit on the couch from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. to watch rail thin women compete to become America’s next Top Model. Every season there is a so-called “plus size” model. Each season, I notice two things. 1) They usually aren’t really plus size (most of them are a size 8 or 10… which I see as pretty normal today) and 2. they usually get kicked off very early in the season (I really don’t think any “plus size” model has made it long enough to go abroad with the top 6.)

This season, Whitney is the so-called “plus size” model. She is absolutely gorgeous, with long blonde hair (they changed it blonde in the make-over episode!) and amazing photos, and tonight, she just made it to the top six and is going abroad!

I am happy. Maybe the modeling world is changing, well, at least, maybe… just maybe, it’s on its way to changing. And maybe if the models that are put in the magazines start to look like normal women in our society, views on size 8 and above women will start to change. Which, by the way, will be a great and positive step for America! Hey, even maybe size 6 and above!!!

While viewing the video, I couldn’t help but laugh. Did you laugh? I laughed because sometimes the truth is just extremely funny, especially when something is comparing men and women.

It cracks me up that the woman was so particular in her shower process. I can’t say that my process is exactly the same as hers, but I go through the same routine every time I shower, just like she did.

The best part about this video was the guy’s part. Somehow men just have that ‘ehhh whatever’ gene, that women don’t have. The funniest part to me was the fact that he reveals his privates to his wife before entering the shower, pees in the shower and then only dries his forearms and butt.

It made me laugh out loud and was something that was light, simple and could possibly help us in our quest to find out just how different we really are from our men!

What has been on my mind lately is what is considered an “abusive relationship.” Because I have never been in an abusive relationship and my current relationship is one of complete love, I have never even thought about it.

About a month ago, one of my very good friends told me that her ex-boyfriend used to beat her. I didn’t know how to react. I wasn’t sure if she was telling me because she needed my help or she just needed to talk to someone about it.

After hearing her horrible stories, I then recently had to read an article about domestic violence for my Psychology class. In this article it stated that 700,000 women a year are abused by their significant other or husband. That is one woman being abused every 45 seconds. This absolutely alarmed me. I knew about battered women and domestic violence but after reading that it is, “the number one health problem for women in the United States causing more injuries to women than automobile accidents, muggings and rapes combined,” I was completely appalled.

What shocked me the most while reading up on this topic, was how people actually believe that some women are O.K. with the abuse because they don’t leave the man. To me this is ridiculous. Why would any woman like getting abused? Some reason’s for not leaving were given in the article. They were, lack of money, lack of resources, fear of family disapproval and hope that the marriage still might work.

What boggles my mind is how any man could beat a woman. A woman that is committed to him. A woman that might have bore his children. A woman who might even stay with him because she feels he is not a bad man, just having a bad phase.

Some people even believe that these women probably did something for them to deserve it. That is was ticks me off even more. No one deserves to be abused, whether physically or emotionally.

Here are some links to help the efforts towards battered women:

Hot-lines for Battered Women

Domestic Violence Hot-lines

Help Battered Women

Center against Domestic violence

(I also want to add that men are abused as well. For now, I focused on women, maybe another day I will focus on men and the issues that they have to deal with. For example: most men refuse to call the cops because they get made fun of that they got beat up by their wife.)